I'm Still Afraid I'm Not Good Enough (Writer Confession #1)

  But...I still have moments where I don’t feel good enough. I still ache when I read a bad review. I still feel like crap when I spend over a year working on a book only to watch my daily sales remain at zero, month after month. I still question if writing is what I should be doing.    Sometimes I’m even upset about my call to write. It drives me, but at times, it also crushes me.
 

I was lucky last year to read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert back to back. They gave me the surge of confidence I needed to adopt the following mantra as my own:

 

There’s no such thing as good art. Good is too relative to ever achieve. What we create now is better than what we created five years ago, and in another five years, our creations will improve from what they are today. Since our art is constantly changing, it can never achieve “good.” The best we can do is be good enough in this moment.

 

I’ve stuck by this statement for almost two years now. I’ve preached it on guest posts and guest podcasts. I’ve sung it out on social media, and I ran a side business for a short time with this message as the main theme.

But...I still have moments where I don’t feel good enough. I still ache when I read a bad review. I still feel like crap when I spend over a year working on a book only to watch my daily sales remain at zero, month after month. I still question if writing is what I should be doing.

Sometimes I’m even upset about my call to write. It drives me, but at times, it also crushes me.

At the core of my being, do I believe my writing, in this moment, is as good as it can be right now. It has improved over the course of my life and will continue to get better. But sure, I do still have my moments of doubt. I still struggle with perfectionism and “comparison syndrome.”

I wouldn’t have it any other way though. I wouldn’t give up being a writer simply to escape these feelings of insecurity. They are a part of my process, and that’s okay. It’s okay that I sometimes feel like I’m not good enough because I AM good enough… In this moment, I am absolutely good enough.